I feel a bit lost. On hold. A little out of place. Like I’m going through the motions of “life in LA” on autopilot.
There’s a show we recently started watching called The Long Way Round, about Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman’s journey across the world on motorbikes. In one episode, Ewan is camping in a field in the middle of nowhere somewhere in Russia and reflects, “I feel like I am exactly where I’m meant to be at this moment”. And that’s when it dawned on me. THAT’S the feeling I’m missing in my life. Since touching down in the US a few months ago, there hasn't been a time when I felt like I am exactly where I'm meant to be. Surely I’ve had moments of joy and love and laughter and happiness. But there is something so specific to that feeling of utter contentedness. Like the world is spinning in a frantic hurricane and you are smack dab in the center of it, blissfully calm. Exactly where you are meant to be.
I felt it at dawn when the Cambodian jungle was coming alive all around me at a remote temple in Angkor Wat. I felt it amongst a group of strangers at the end of a pier, on a tiny island in Honduras, sharing beers and belly laughs and taking turns jumping in the warm Caribbean waters. I felt it at the rim of a volcano in Indonesia, dizzy from the eight-hour ascent in blistering sunshine and the hallucinogenic feeling of being eye-level with the rolling clouds.
Maybe I have a problem. Maybe travel has become so common for us, so deeply ingrained in the fiber of our personalities that we can’t settle into a “normal” lifestyle anymore. Maybe we’ll never be happy living in one place or working at the same job day after day. Maybe we’ll constantly be seeking that next, greatest adventure.
And to that, I say… so what? I am at peace with the feeling that my life is not meant to be lived in one place. And confident that we can build successful, fulfilled life on the move. I don't believe I was put on God’s beautiful green earth to sit in a box every day staring at a glowing screen, and it saddens me to think about doing the same thing every day until my turn on this planet has come to an end. So, I'm okay with the seeking.
We're overwhelmed by the sense that our life is calling to us from out there on the road, somewhere. And despite all of the risks and sacrifices that come along with it, we’re ready to go find it.